Baby Names Rejected by Wife

Balthazar – from Phoenician, meaning “Baal protects the King”
Morpheus – in Greek mythology as the god of dreams, leader of the Oneiroi. Morpheus has the ability to take any human form and appear in dreams. His true semblance is that of a winged daemon, imagery shared with many of his siblings.
Brooklyn – from Brooklyn!
Lakshmi – the Hindu goddess of wealth, prosperity (both material and spiritual), light, wisdom, fortune, fertility, generosity and courage; and the embodiment of beauty, grace and charm.
Bort – who doesn’t love Bort?
Frodo, Gandalf, Bilbo – I dunno, I thought these would get a better reception.
Sauron, Smeagol, Saruman, Shelob – Ok, these I didn’t totally expect, but I think Smeagol would be a totally original, awesome name. Plus there’s a nickname already built-in!
Adolph – Here’s the Babyname Voyager chart for Adolph:

Something must have happened in the 1930s or so…
Rasputin – To be fair, this was my brother’s suggestion. On the upside, tough to kill. On the downside, named after someone who helped bring about the fall of the Romanov dynasty.
Ragamuffin – hobo names are pretty much out.
Barium-enema – I thought it sounded lyrical…
Cthulhu – actually, almost every variation of large, death-like monsters and/or cult figures has now officially been considered and rejected.
Pan – no, not short for Peter Pan (Jewish people find it superstitiously bad luck/tacky to name kids after living relatives). I mean, like the Greek god of shepherds and flocks, mountain wilds, hunting and rustic music, as well as the companion of the nymphs. Nymphs!
Tron – Obviously too popular, what with the revitalization of the movie coming out around the kid’s birth.
Boob – Like Cthulhu, almost every variation of body part or bodily function is out (although I haven’t asked explicitly about Stool. But Fart is out).

Plus, any name with a dollar sign in it, substituting for the s (e.g., Ke$sha, Sa$ha, Meli$$a)

Yes, $hitler is out on three fronts – dollar sign, bodily function, Nazi.


One Response to “Baby Names Rejected by Wife”

  1. Ethan October 13, 2010 at 9:39 am #

    Hmmm. See if she’ll go for $hitler.

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