Archive | January, 2012

12 for ’12 – Vanilla

12 Jan

One of my projects for this year is to make homemade vanilla extract. The process is simple (vanilla beans sit in a neutral alcohol until their flavor is, well, extracted), but it takes about 6 months for the vanilla to extract fully. No time like the present!

I’m making three different kinds. Normally, vanilla extract is made with vodka since it is about as neutral as you can get. So there is vodka. But I’m also making vanilla extracted into rum, and bourbon. Without further ado, here is Day 1:

See you in 6 months, my pretties. Baby mama is going to design some labels, I think we’re tentatively calling it Sweet B’s Vanilla (suggestions welcome, I’m not in the least bit convinced by that name). Our tentative tag line is ‘he may be vanilla but he’s not plain’.


Solid foods

8 Jan

Baby is starting to eat solid foods now, for reals you know, and it’s pretty amusing. I would say that about 15% of the time, he’s going to eat something that’s a little too big for his mouth/throat and throw up the whole lot of it, but about 85% of the time, he’s tossing it down. On the suggestion of baby mama’s Boston friends (whut whut to Boston!), we started him with frozen waffles, just to let him gnaw on the things. I had been feeding him out of hand for a while now, fruits mostly, but this was the first time we would just give him a big handful of food and let him chomp on it for a while.

We never went for the munchkin pack or it’s kin, that thing seems too sad to me (and this user’s submitted photo really confirms it for me).

Puffs are big in our household now, as are animal crackers (yep, Hatsengater’s, the crazy-ass Chinese ones that are shapeless but for the animal written on the cracker…’Zebra’ says one blob, ‘Snake’ says another equally shapeless one). These are treaty-treat-treats. Today we gave the little one some pizza. The thought was to cut it up small-like, but in the end, it worked tons better to give him the crust-side of a slice, with some pizza still on it. Man, too cute. And grapes, we quarter them, and he slurps them down as fast as he can get his grubby little paws on them. Anyhow, life is coming fast and hard for the little man. This week, I’m making chicken parmesan, we’ll see how that goes.

At the end of the day, the ongoing question of ‘bite-sized pieces he can’t choke on’ versus ‘big pieces he can grasp and gnaw/chew on’ has not yet been resolved. I know, gripping.

Search terms

3 Jan

Can I just say, whoever is finding this blog by searching for dad and boy naked together, I think you’re in the wrong corner of the internets. You want the creepy pedophilia corner, this is the awesome fun section.

Like an old man eating soup

2 Jan

Honestly, I haven’t laughed so hard at a baby story as I did on New Year’s Eve. We went to the estimable S&E’s house, where our hosts made stupendously good turkey, veggies, people brought stuffing, brownies, something, hrmph….was there squash? I’m pretty sure I ate a lot of cheese. And oh shit, I almost forgot the homemade gravelax.

So, fine, yes. Our hosts made fantastic, stiff Manhattan’s, and I drank like 3-4 of them I think, and I was pretty much sloshed the rest of the way through dinner (where I drank wine, then aquavit. Aquavit! The fucking water of life!). But food was definitely served, and I ate and drank and made merry. We also brought the best chocolate chip cookies EVA, and made some ice cream sandwiches (another side note: these are, I kid you not, the best chocolate chip cookies. I know you’re thinking ‘sure, they might be good, but the best?‘ Dude. Yes.)

But back to the baby story. There were two other couples there, who intrepidly brought along their little ones. I mean, that shit is badass. Baby ain’t getting in the way of MY New Year’s Eve, man. So, yeah, three couples who have like 1-ish babies, and then our hosts, who are expecting. Two babies sleeping in the back. Booze. So lots of baby talk. Sick baby talk, all over the place.

And one of the guys, let’s call him Shmee-li, was talking about the relative amount of work he and his wife are doing, what with breastfeeding and all. Everyone’s division of labor is different here, naturally, and they’re all fucked up in their own way. I myself play diaper-and-delivery, getting baby up and delivering him to mama in the living room, where she nurses. Others nurse in bed, many times it’s exclusively women who get up, get the baby, nurse the baby, put the baby back, with the men none the wiser. All of these ‘work’, and none of them do. Baby 101, my man. In fact, the other guy’s wife, (let’s call him Shmadam), was joking about how she had gotten up, was about to change the baby, and Shmadam came bursting in and totally freaked her out. He apparently thought she had been on call and at work, and suddenly woke up to hear baby crying, came flying in, and nearly heart-attacked his wife.

Meanwhile, Shmee-li is talking about how he woke up thinking his father-in-law was in his bed next to him and it totally freaked him out. And then he realized that his 11-month-old baby, when he’s nursing, sounds like his father-in-law eating soup. And not just like a broth or something. “like, a chowder.”

So for the past two days I’ve been thinking about the 11-month-old who sounds like an old man eating soup. Like. Love.

Then someone made a connection sometime during dinner and was like “you’re Brooklyn Dad! How long have you been writing for them?”

Happy 2012 y’all. We have awesome games to play for 2k12, and we want you to join us!