Our baby is totally full of shit

17 Nov

At least that is what they told me at daycare. And you know what? They’re right. At just over 11 months old, BB weighs in at a hefty 24-ish pounds. For breakfast, he eats a whole mashed banana and some brown rice cereal. But he’s still hungry. For lunch, he eats two ‘packets’ of food (one vegetable, one fruit). But he’s still hungry. For dinner, he eats another two packets or jars of food (one vegetable, one fruit). And he nurses four times a day.

This is, let’s see, 18-24 ounces of food a day, plus whatever he gets from breastfeeding? We’re in size 4 diapers at the moment, and at least overnight, it is getting consistently too small to hold the prodigious amount of waste. Sometimes at least another giant poop during the day as well.

So when I picked him up from daycare, they told me that they’re burning through diapers with him, and that there might be something wrong with him because he poops so much. The whole wheat side of me was thinking, well, no wonder, he’s eating a frickin’ pound and a half of food a day. If it didn’t come out someplace, I’d be rather worried. We’re still worried enough that a call to livingoutsidethescreen the pediatrician is still probably in the works.

Of course, the frosting side of me is fascinated with the fact that basically a total stranger now has opinions about my baby, and that those opinions are based on experiences with him that I am not really privy to. It’s not like I can say, well, how do you know, you don’t even know BB! Because, of course, they do. They know what he’s like with other kids, what he’s like with adults who are not his parents, what toys he likes, how he sleeps, the whole lot. And they have opinions about it! When other parents come to pick up their kids, I wonder, do they point at BB and say, ‘that’s the one who takes world-class shits’? Or that he’s pensive (as our friend Sarah mentioned to me at the playground)? It’s not at all that I disagree with the assessments, it’s just that as his personality evolves and manifests as behaviors, looks, attitudes, and expressions, these assessments are largely out of our hands. Scary!

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One Response to “Our baby is totally full of shit”

  1. Davin November 19, 2011 at 12:53 pm #

    Heh. Yeah, kinda sucks not to be the undisputed expert on all things BB any more, huh? Sure, counting sleep time you might spend more time with him than the daycare folks, but in terms of actual shaping-and-stimulating-his-consciousness, it’s not so clear. You monster.
    Pretty awesome about the eating and pooping though. On Saturday he ate one piece of chocolate cake, one ice cream cone, one pickle, one slice of Swiss cheese, one slice of salami… Maybe BB will turn out to be a beautiful butterfly!

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