birthday

7 Jul

So, today is my 40th birthday, and I am now officially older than dirt. I thought I would have a bit more angst about turning 40 than I actually do, but something about having a 6 month old baby makes it harder to introspectively focus on (and complain about) what’s happening to you.

But 40 is 40, and I can be a little thoughtful about what’s going on in my life at middle age.

On the negative side, my career is about to undergo a pretty major transition, and we are anything but settled in where we are living and spending our time. I’m somewhat unsatisfied with how both of these things are going. I know, most of our friends are going through some version of this ennui, on the job front at least, but somehow I thought I would find something that I would be passionate about waking up to do every day. And I have decidedly not given up on having a job that fills me with warm and fuzzy satisfaction.

On the positive side, partner and baby. I was skeptical for years that having a baby and being married would make me happy. And I do think that I perhaps would be happy if I didn’t do either of those things. But I am deliriously happy with both partner and baby. So far we have avoided being crazy with each other and with parenting. I’m not saying it’s been easy, or that we’ll keep our shit together going forwards. I am saying that there is much less challenge on these two fronts than I had imagined as a 20-something kid.

So I’ll take this birthday in stride. We’re not doing much of anything for it, and I’m not really a birthday party kind of person anyhow. Some time when we get back from our summer vacation, maybe we’ll throw some sort of party. Until then, things are…wonderful. All my problems are 1st world problems, and the wonder and joy that are my baby mama and my baby make up for all of them.

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One Response to “birthday”

  1. Ivy July 8, 2011 at 10:00 pm #

    Happy belated! I was actually thinking about you guys last night (alas, not because I actually remembered your bday, that would have been impressive), thinking that I’d promised to try lunch over in your ‘hood before you left for your trip – but that since you guys were leaving today, I’d blown it.

    Belated birthday lunch when you get back? And “older than dirt” and “middle age”? Sheesh, way to make the rest of us feel old too. Thanks.

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