Lost in Queens

24 May

Darling wife and I rented a Zipcar and went to Queens, to meet our former Closest Friend in New York (2 aves. away) for lunch. While the lunch was wildly successful, the aftermath was not. We spent 2+ hours trying to get home to Brooklyn from goddamn Forest Hills, in the absolutely pouring rain. I mean, taking the Jackie Robinson Parkway is supposed to be humane, but no one can get onto the fucking thing. It was supposed to go something like this:


Now imagine this route while I am sitting in the passenger seat shouting things like, “hey, you need to pull over, you are in the middle of a funeral procession”, and “I know the sign says you have to turn left, but go straight! Go straight! GO STRAIGHT!”. In the pouring rain. Eventually, baby mama pulled over, took over her map/phone, and led us this way:

Which put us on the BQE around 4pm, and home by 5:30. Not fun. At the end of the day, it was an incredibly expensive lunch, my navigator/passenger cred took yet another hit (it really cannot go much lower), and our chances of moving to Queens ratcheted down just a tick or two. Sure, I know, if we lived there, we wouldn’t have to figure out how to drive to or from there, but still.

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