Stoppage

5 Apr

People told is that having a baby would mean that all our ideas about rationality, reasoning, and understanding would be thrown out the window. Babies, we are told, are pure want and need and emotion. And, to a certain degree, that’s been true. Especially in the first couple months, so much of what BB wanted was just unreasonable.

Of course, the flip side is that the development books (specifically the Baby’s First Year) does cue you in to what you could expect to happen. BB is now making baby cooing sounds, and starting to sleep better, and tracking things, and neck control, and grabbing rather than batting, etc.

But the fact that three weeks of basically bi-hourly diarrhea could suddenly not just come to an end, but also include two full days of no bowel movements, it’s just insane. Because, first, wife and I are living this surreal existence, whispering urgently to each other ‘did he poop?’ ‘was there poop?’ ‘where the hell is the fucking poop?’ for two full days. Should we ‘stimulate the anus’? (would that be YOUR solution?) call the doctor?

The Book, of course, blithely says in a quick paragraph that sometimes babies can go up to a week with no bowel movement, normal! And I’m all skeptical, because my brother goes a week with no bowel movements, and that bought him a trip to the Mayo Clinic.

Second, his GI tract basically just reset itself. I mean, wtf?

Oh and just for the record, I won the poop roulette twice in a row after this, the second time of which I basically cleaned up, well, two days worth of waste. I’m pretty sure I actually saw his stomach deflate as half his stinking body weight was squeezed out. Yay.

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3 Responses to “Stoppage”

  1. livingoutsidethescreen April 5, 2011 at 1:39 pm #

    I’m so glad I read this during my lunch hour.

  2. Peter April 5, 2011 at 2:35 pm #

    Impossible. You wouldn’t get distracted by the internets in the middle of a work day!

  3. Ivy April 5, 2011 at 4:57 pm #

    See, and you thought you wouldn’t be obsessed with poop!

    We experienced a week where our little bundle of joy did not have a poop for a full 7 days. We were very uncomfortable for him, but really, he seemed totally fine. Two days is nothin’.

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