Archive | November, 2010

Swaddle Pig

29 Nov

They say practice makes perfect. Unpacking the stupendously-named ‘miracle blanket’, I had to take a minute to try it out. Eliza was our only appropriately-sized victim:

I’m pretty sure I’m going to fuck this up once the baby comes, but whatever.

And today, the super showed up to measure our windows for safety something-or-other, mandated by NYC apartment regs for people with kids under 10 years old. I was chatting him up about the impending kid:

Me: So, do you have any kids?
Super: (amusedly grunting) Heh. Oh yeah.
Me: And it’s all joy, right?
Super: Heh. Maybe.
Me: People keep telling us we won’t get sleep for while. But it’s worth it, right?
Super: (laughing, looking at me like I’ve gone off my meds) Heh.
Me: And then 18 years later, we’ll get our lives back.
Super: Hmm. No, they don’t want to leave.
Me: Oh? So we don’t get to get rid of them once they’re grown?
Super: (looking at me like I’m kind of a moron) Heh heh. No, they don’t want to leave. One of my kids comes over to get us to pay for his gas!
Me: But you love them, right?
Super: (just looking at me without saying anything)
Me: Um, right?

As he laughed his ass off, leaving my apartment.

I’m glad he didn’t notice the swaddle pig.


Closing in on baby date

28 Nov

We’re looking at a December 14 or so induced date, depending on a doctor’s appointment this week. There are a few things we need to get out of our storage area, and we have a number of things (like turning that office wreck into a baby room) that may or may not get done in time. I still don’t know what I’m going to do about my final exam, due to be given on the 16th. But we’re pretty much done with the ‘critical’ list, and we’re moving to the ‘we’d really like to get this done’ list, before moving on to the ‘this would be nice’ list. Some of the things (diapers, e.g.) we’ll do last minute, when we can be a little more certain about sizing. But damn, overall, if baby mama popped today, dare I say that we’d be fine with it. But maybe not today today. After all, it’s our seventh anniversary today, and we don’t want to spoil it with a baby or anything.

Myself, I’m feeling the love, but also having mad stress dreams, including lots of weaponry and getting chased around by villains. Of course, once the baby come and completely disrupts my sleep REM cycle, I assume that’ll all be put to rest.

So, running around, having brunch with friends, dinners with friends, napping on a lazy Sunday. It’s very hard to complain about my life today. I hope your Thanksgiving weekend went just as swimmingly.

Good intentions

26 Nov

We went to our friends’ house for Thanksgiving this year, because Darling is pregnant enough at this point to make traveling elsewhere untenable. She made salad, I made chocolate chip cookies. Both were delicious, but, well, you know. Our friends are (well, she is) more pregnant than Darling, she is a week or so from due date.

Anyhow, we’re there with our friends, their parents, sister and cousin. And they’re great. Lovely, lovely kids, lovely parents, everything going swimmingly. But you ever have this situation, where everyone is getting along well, but the assumptions everyone brings to the table are completely opposite? This was that.

Me: (to friend’s father) Wow, great, you guys live in New Jersey, seems like you’re going to get to see your new grandchild pretty often.
Father: Yes, it is ideal. We’re not so far away as to be a plane ride, but on the other hand, we’re not so close as to be right on top of them. We can come for a few hours, then go home.
Me: Yes that does sound great. My parents live a plane ride away in Chicago, Darling’s live a 10-hour plane ride away in Hawai’i. Plus, we may purchase a place with her mother, so she can stay there for 3 months a year, right on top of us.
Father: Um, that sounds nice too.

Me: (coming into the room and being passed around friend’s brother-in-law’s watch) Wow, this watch doesn’t really have much weight to it. And it’s a Star Wars watch. What, did it come out of a cereal box?
Brother-in-law: No, it was a birthday present.
Me: It’s lovely.

Friend’s sister: So, wow, it seems like you guys have a perfect setup. Your job is in academia, which gives you great flexibility, and Darling’s job is in non-profit management, which gives meaning and purpose. This is a good combination for having a baby.
Me: Except that I’m most likely going to change careers, and Darling’s job is never totally stable.
Sister: Oh.
Me: But you mean for the next 2 years, while the baby is really little, right?
Sister: Well, I was thinking, like 10.
Me: Oh.

Friend’s mother: (talking about traveling) we just get on I-95 and just go straight south.
Me: Wow, great, where are you going?
Mother: Down to Florida. It takes a day to get through South Carolina, we don’t ever want to stop there, just keep driving. There’s nothing there worth stopping for.
Me: My parents have a house in South Carolina, where there’re going to retire.
Mother: Oh. That sounds nice.

Honestly, though, Thanksgiving was lovely and fun, and truly not awkward despite all this, and we totally appreciated the experience. The world is large, there are a lot of people in it, and most of us mean well. I am thankful.

This life, this economy

24 Nov

I’m just saying, it seems like all of our closest friends here in New York are in the midst of dramatic career changes. Some by chance, some by choice, some by necessity. I’m not sure what the deal is – they are all high powered MBA types, all women, all late 30’s or early 40’s who are trying to make life decisions that align work/family or that provide more job satisfaction…oh wait. Maybe that has something to do with it. Is it possible that high-powered MBA career tracks have been somehow, some way, created with career-obsessive, hetero-men-with-domestic-spouses-at-home-doing-reproductive-labor in mind? Sociologists call this hegemony, where the assumptions of one group get written into the social world in such a way as to a) tilt the playing field in favor of those in power; and b) seem like the world-as-it-is is normal.

Or maybe it’s randomness and I’m just being academic and paranoid.

Flying Home

23 Nov

Assuming all goes well with the labor/delivery/postpartum, we intend to fly to Chicago in February with the little one in tow. But then I read this article, and, combined with the new porno-cancer-scanners and some TSA dude feeling up my balls, I’m feeling less enthusiastic about flying in general, and flying with a baby in particular. Of course we’ll do it, and I’ve been tracking flight fares to Chicago (still $205, farecast says to wait). But what a hassle.

The thing is, I love to get around to different places, but I hate to travel. Or rather, the travel experience has become so shitty that it’s incredibly off-putting. I don’t even know that having a baby is the decisive factor here. I’m just going to repeat my travel mantra: it’s worth it, it’s special, I can do this.

Kicking, pushing, poking

22 Nov

I keep expecting to look over and see baby mama’s belly look like this:

So far, though, aside from the Alien-esque movement we can now see even through whatever shirt she’s wearing, there’s been no discernible facial features. Our Mayo Clinic pregnancy guide claims that this kind of shoving should ease off as the baby ‘drops’, but it’s not happened quite yet.

The frenetic mind of an internet junkie

22 Nov

I don’t really have anything witty or funny or insightful to say about life at the moment. Although there was one thing: in a surreal blogo-juxtaposition yesterday, wife complained that she needed to catch up on our lives. By reading my blog. While I sat 3 feet away. Even though I had just written about the glider chair, which was sitting right in front of her, while she was reading about it on the internet. And then she complained that I’m not keeping her updated on what’s going on, because her best friend called and commented on posts and stuff. Like I’m somehow not sharing.

Instead, I thought I would share the kinds of things I’m looking at nowadays on the interweb tubes, when I’m not sociologizing. Usually I browse/read/search/poke around, and when I find something that hits me, I bookmark it for later rather than heading down the rabbit trail immediately. Delicious, or Pinboard, or Instapaper all work well, depending on your temperament and tech-savvy.

So, some stuff.

Things I want to buy, or covet, or am researching:

  • I’m trying to decide on what kind of video to get, for baby and beyond. This one (the Panasonic) and this one (the Canon) seem pretty awesome.
  • We’re looking for file cabinets, to replace the flimsy, small cabinet we have. After trolling Apartment Therapy, I found this one, which seems practical, and relatively reasonably priced. And this one, which actually looks fantastic, but is going to cost me a kidney.
  • I also love these products, specifically the book covers for the iPad. Of course, since neither of us has intention to purchase said iPad, the cover is probably putting the cart ahead of the horse.


  • One day, we hope to buy an apartment, or house, or something. And when that day comes, I am plotting how to get this plate wall idea past baby mama (who, I’m guessing, would hate it). My backup plan is to push for this wall of photographs.
  • And the walls of our fancy-pants place should be painted like these, with one bathroom wallpapered with Orla Kiely wallpaper.


Honestly though, I doubt I’ll get to any of these. They do look tasty though.

Finally, trivia/infotainment:

  • Baby mama and I had a hilarious conversation about TV shows with a single father on them. She pulled out all kinds of TV memory that boggled my me (My Three Sons, Silver Spoons, Gimme a Break). But then I found a mostly definitive list, and I realized that, damn, there have been a crap-ton of lousy, one-season shows. Plus, Benson!
  • And honestly, Squrrel Girl is the most powerful superhero in the Marvel Universe. First, she defeated Doctor Doom all by herself. And her official powergrid ratings are maxed out. Maxed. Out. (via lunch bag art, which I’m throwing in because, well, it’s a blog about lunch bag art)

Just a glimpse. I have been pretty obsessed with Starcraft 2 as well, lately, and I get a kick out of watching replays with commentary on the Youtubes.