Mother-in-law, continuation

10 Oct

Another dinner, another conversation that turns to baby. Me, wife, Mother-in-law.

Mother-in-law: There are a lot of things you need to figure out, especially if it’s a boy. You’re going to need to find a moyel for the circumcision.
Me: Yeah, we live in Brooklyn, across from a synagogue. I think we’ll be able to find a moyel pretty much at a moment’s notice.
MiL: Well, with the holidays, you know, you need to do it 8 days after he’s born. Our family friend’s daughter is a moyel, she lives in NYC…
Me: Yeah, we can probably find a moyel, but thanks. Plus, if it’s not 8 days later, I think we’ll live. It’ll be 10 days, or 7, or whatever.
MiL: But, 8 days! Plus, there’s the Pidyon Ha’ben, where you pay a Kohen to symbolically redeem your firstborn from priestly duties.
Me: Yeah, we’re not fucking doing that.
MiL: You don’t have to, of course. It’s just a ritual that connects you to Judaism, and makes you part of a larger tradition. Like your wedding, it turned out to be a pretty Jewish ceremony.
Me: Yeah, I wasn’t all that happy about that.
MiL: Really? I thought it was lovely!
Me: We can keep talking about this, but it’s not going to get any more pleasant.
MiL (finally backtracking): I think you’re going to be loving, great parents, and that’s what matters.
Me: There we go.

Oh, and where was Wife during this? Intensely interested in her cheesy pizza. Apologies for caustic behavior on my part and lack of support on her part were exchanged on the walk home.


4 Responses to “Mother-in-law, continuation”

  1. Ivy October 10, 2010 at 10:45 pm #

    Are you concerned at all that your MiL will discover that you have a blog, and that she is making multiple appearances in said blog?

  2. Davin October 10, 2010 at 10:49 pm #

    I’m just hoping that that is a literal quote: “Yeah, we’re not fucking doing that.”

    If so, you, sir, are the man.

  3. Ivy October 10, 2010 at 10:51 pm #

    What?!?! For insulting your wife’s mother in public? I totally disagree.

    Hey, you’ve created a new forum for us to spat in…thanks?

  4. Peter October 11, 2010 at 7:35 am #

    I don’t think she’ll mind putting in appearances. I think in the end, she is just tickled pink to have the kid coming, and the rest for her is just the blah blah blah.

    I’m pretty sure those were the words. It was not really an insult directed at her per se, more that there’s is what I might gently call small religious differences between me, E, and m-in-l. The whole incident was actually less tension-filled and more in good company than maybe it comes out.

    And what, do you two sit at dueling computers, commenting back and forth at each other?

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