Kicking and sleeping

1 Oct

This morning, I woke up to rain, at 5am. My wife, now 20-something weeks into pregnancy, was still asleep as I looped my arm over to put my hands on her belly.

We’ve been having some amusement over the baby’s movements lately. She tells me the baby is kicking all the time, here put your hands on my belly and feel. And I do. When nothing happens within 20 seconds or so, I roll my eyes and tell her I don’t know what she’s talking about. I think it’s charming and sweet that she wants to share something intimate with me, and I find her mini-exasperation completely endearing. It’s like taking your car in to the mechanic because it squeaks and thunks when you turn the wheel just so, and you both sit there as of course it fails to reproduce on demand.

But this morning, Tropical storm Nicole throwing rain at our windows, I can feel the baby kicking. I can feel the baby moving all over the place. Restless, like I am.

We are at a funny phase in the baby-making business. Initially, it was all about risks – risks of my wife getting a blood clot, risk of chromosomal disorder in the fetus, risk of miscarriage. The pregnancy itself has been relatively easy so far (yeah, sure, for you, Peter. You’re not the one with the extra weight, the tender boobs, and the shortness of breath). So those risks acquired more weight than if we had been dealing with more daily struggles. And even with the extra worry, things have more or less gone, well, smoothly.

Now, as we check the mouthfeel of potential baby names, I realize that my concerns have turned from ‘what if it doesn’t?’ to ‘what if is does?’ In a few months, we’re going to have a baby, people! But if the thing came right this hot second, I am approximately .03% prepared. Early labor! Furniture! What about that trip we were going to take to the S. of France?

This too shall pass, I know. The panic flows, then ebbs to something more like anticipation. And then even joy. I feel the baby kicking, and I am getting pretty excited about seeing who it is that’s doing all that moving. Who the heck are you, little one? And what are you going to be like?

I even woke my love up, just to tell her I feel it too.

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3 Responses to “Kicking and sleeping”

  1. Davin October 1, 2010 at 9:42 pm #

    They love it when you wake ’em up to share these epiphanies.

    Actually, the cool thing is that the “moment of wonder” phenomenon definitely continues after birth. They’re magical little things… at times anyway.

    Oh, and another thought in response to Paragraph 4 – that also has the potential to continue well past birth. I have found that the first 18 months of Vanderlito’s life could be described as often being “relatively easy… for me”. Heh.

  2. Davin October 6, 2010 at 8:02 pm #

    Ahem. Shiny new content, please.

    And none of this “suddenly post 4 entries all at once crap”, neither. One to two witty, well thought out, interesting posts per day.

    Dammit.

    You gotta develop some good habits now, cause it ain’t getting any easier once you’ve got ten wriggly pounds on your hands.

  3. Peter October 6, 2010 at 11:16 pm #

    I’m on it. I was sick last week, and while I did cook a bit, I mostly sat in bed moaning softly and wishing for sweet sweet death.

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